our hopes and expectations/black holes and revelations

The first time I saw your face
I was blown away without a trace
I felt so alone on a busy street
when you passed me by
I felt my feet melt away
Melt away

I pray to God I could meet
Someone like the boy I'd just seen
Someone that could stop me dead
Someone that could spin around in my head all day
In my head all day

Someday I will fly with you
Someday I will fly with you

That night I saw him again
It was the first time I touched his hand
He made me feel so warm
We talked all night 'til the dawn came our way
Til the dawn came our way

But the timing was all wrong
When I met the one I should've known
Instead I walked away leaving behind my destiny on that day
My destiny on that day

Someday I will fly with you
Someday I will fly with you

But I still see his face
In my mind it's the only place
And we will meet again
And I will touch your hand again on that day
Your hand again on that day

Friday, May 23, 2008

Went to Orchard again. I didn't find much to buy, because I didn't really go anywhere. Just Wisma and NAC again. I got ANOTHER grey top despite my determination to buy something in gold. Why gold? Because it goes well with my skin tone, proven by my nail polish. What's ironic is that it was an enemy who told me so. But there wasn't anything in gold. Well there was, in Topshop, but it was ginormous.

Also I was feeling depressed and I liked how the top matched my bleak mood. ahaha. I didn't really have a reason to feel bad then but I'm a teenager and my hormones are treacherous.

I got home at 4pm and just laid around and counted the cracks in the wall and ravaged some kingdoms on Warbook. I felt slightly better. At 6.30 I saw an sms from Naomi asking me if I wanted to go to TJC's mardi gras carnival thingaling and I decided I was going, even though her school is SO FAR from home. I needed to be distracted.

I reached around 8.30. The long bus journey was treacherous and cold and my contacts were shrivelling up on my eyeballs and I was miserable. Naomi and Jinghui were there, and I wasn't the latest, thank the heavens or I'd feel even worse. David and a friend were coming too.

It was weird, I hadn't seen them for so very long. I hadn't seen N and J for three months. It felt like years. Now and then it felt like the old times but I know that it's all different. I'm not who/what I used to be, for one thing.

We didn't do much and I didn't stay too long. We just hung out near the foodstalls and got some ice cream which sort of sucked, in my opinion. I was happy to see them but weirdly enough I felt even sadder at the same time. I gave up smiling and usual wisecracks within 10 minutes.

I saw a couple of old friends and acquaintences. They hadn't changed much. Well one of them manage to shake off some of his pot-belly.

When I got home it was 11pm. I need a good cry to release my pentup whatever but the tears won't come. Which sort of sucks, because it means I'm going to cry at the wrong moment, ie, in front of everybody.

i thought the world of you
11:44 PM